I wish I could teleport
I'm lost and stupid without you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
