Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
