I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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