im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
