after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
