i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize