Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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