im having a threesome with these popsicles
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
its liver damage thursday
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