OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
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Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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