I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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