well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize