So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
