I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
