My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
