What tipped you off? The sombrero?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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