those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
