I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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