Your dad touched me again.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
