So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
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Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize