Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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