Sponge bath it is.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
