thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
