K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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