also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
