wanna go halves on a baby?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
