Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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