why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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