So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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