...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
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What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
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Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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