We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
