I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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