the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
