I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
