I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
