Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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