I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize