hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
