I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
