Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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