She said her name was "party"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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