dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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