its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
