Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
