Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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