Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
What a dumb baby whore.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
