Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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