The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Randomize
