Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
