Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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