Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
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It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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