if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The beer is more important than you right now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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