This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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