And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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