I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize