Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
