Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
