i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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