your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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