My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize